Dear Mr President

Referring back to an earlier post about my addictive personality, I have to admit that I kept another activity from you, although I strongly suspect that most of the people who kindly visit this blog know about it in any event. Last year some time I discovered a game on Facebook called scramble. It's effectively computerised boggle, and it's highly addictive. There is a reason that I'm telling you about this, and I'll get to it as soon as I can. You can chat to other players, and over the last six months or so I have formed very good friendships which I hope will be lifelong with a number of people from all over the world. In fact 27 of my 53 Facebook friends I've met through the game, that's just over half. Some people may think this is a little sad, but I get to socialise every evening with people whose company I enjoy without having to put make up on, and all it costs is the bottle of wine accompaniment.

Anyway, last night Sonja (Cape Town) and I were happily imbibing some grape juice, and Maureen (New York), amongst others, complained that it was too early in the day for her to join in. I agreed to write to the delectable President Obama requesting that the USA adopts GMT so we call all party. He's my letter:

Dear Mr President

May I first of all congratulate you on your decisive victory in the recent election. I have to, however, take issue with the widespread belief that you are the first African-American President of the United States of America: this was clearly President Palmer. I hope that you receive the same level of support from Jack Bauer if you are ever to come under terrorist attack, and I think it would be sensible to reinstate CTU.

I have made a number of friendships with your good citizens recently, and we like to chat to one another on Facebook over a few games of scramble (I'm sure a man of your taste will be familiar with it). The problem is that with the differences in the time zones between our respective countries, I meet my American friends during their afternoons, when I have finished my working day, and can enjoy a convivial glass of wine or two. This is making some of your citizens unhappy, which I am sure will displease you. I should therefore like to propose that you arrange for the United States to adopt Greenwich Mean Time.

In addition to the clear benefits of the peoples of the world bonding more freely, which can only assist in your determined efforts to bring peace on Earth, it would also encourage greater productivity in the workplace: do you have any idea how many Americans play scramble during working hours? If we were all able to meet across a scramble board in the evening there would be less delinquency in the work place, and this could bring an end to the credit crunch.

I appreciate that it will involve your countrymen rising in the darkness and sleeping while the sun shines. Once again I would respectfully point out the added benefits this opportunity offers. It has been widely reported that incidents of skin cancer are rising as a result of over exposure to the sun coupled with the effects of global warming (ask Al Gore if you don't believe me). Adopting GMT would consequently lead to less exposure to the sun, less cancer and a reduction in the resources required by Medicaid. You could perhaps then divert the dollars saved into your many worthy projects.

I appreciate you have many pressing matters to attend to so I will (s)ramble on no further, but trust you will give due consideration to the above matter.

Yours sincerely

Merlotjo

PS. I joined your Obama support group on Facebook, and if could have, I would have voted for you.