Sex in Simcity

Mg's of Valium: 0


Playlist: Hand Build by Robots, Newton Faulkner

Eve and I moved on a step further with creation theory this morning. She started playing the Sims, and insisted that I help her to get her Sim pregnant. Very cunning, I thought, while trying to come to terms with the fact that this issue is not going away any time soon. I was addicted to the game for a while - great escapism. Then I discovered Facebook which offered a more satisfying alternative reality to the cheep thrill of getting same sex Sims to snog. I can be very childish as you've no doubt observed.

Eve's Sim is called Lulu, and she's married to Pod. She made them herself, and I have no idea where the names came from. What is disconcerting is that I went to school with a boy nick-named Pod (we remain friends, largely through Facebook). The Sim she created was the very picture of the Pod that I know, and the idea of getting him to mate with Lulu made me feel like a fully blinged up pimp complete with three mobile phones, and spinners on my BMW. I lamely suggested that Lulu adopt a baby, which, in the game involves a simple telephone call. She stood silently with her hands on her hips, in much the same way I do when Spouse comes out with pitiful excuses not to mow the lawn. So Lulu and Pod got under the sheets and WOOHOOOED. Eve observed that baby making is a bedroom activity and I sensed that she felt this was enough information. Happily neither of us were ready for the mechanics which will either horrify her, or else she will find it screamingly funny - you to that with it!!!

As part of the fully rounded sex education a la Badmother I insisted that she look after the baby when it was born. In Simtown gestation takes approximately three Sim days. The Sim stork arrived with - you won't believe this - twins. I was pleased to observe that Sim babies are about as needy as the real thing, and Twin 2 begged me to help her take care of them. I told her I've been there, done that, got the vomit encrusted t-shirt. She left the game running, and went out to play. Along came Social Services to remove the Little Darling's little darlings. Another lesson learned.