The Money Pit

So I've been neglecting my blog for a few days, but since I've had nothing to write about I thought it best to leave well alone. It's the Easter weekend, of course, which in my secular household means a trip to B & Q, and starting home improvement projects that will never be finished. Four years ago we moved into a big old Georgian house which had been in the same family for decades. Picture, if you will, Miss Havisham's pad in Great Expectations (but not as big). You couldn't contemplate a constitutional in the back garden without a masheti, and the interior of the house had last been decorated in about 1964. I remember laughing out loud while watching Tom Hanks in The Money Pit. Now just thinking about the film makes me start to rock, slowly, back and forth, back and forth.

I had grand plans to restore the house to its former glory. In four years we've installed central heating and an aga, and with the exception of the crayon murals and finger marks courtesy of the Little Darlings, not a single room has been decorated. The first project - operation install the aga - which should have been a simple two day project lasted five weeks, and involved rebuilding the chimney. Five long weeks of workman standing around scratching their heads and arses, drinking tea, and saying things like, I can but it's gonna cost you. It cost me every last penny and my sanity.

Today's trip to the DIY store reminded me of another reason that I don't shop with the spouse. I wasn't stupid enough to go with him, but sent him with very clear instructions to buy - sandpaper; undercoat, satinwood (white), emulsion (cream vinyl - or any damn colour he chooses as long as it's not magnolia). He ticked the first three boxes, and regarding the fourth, came back saying magnolia was on special, and it kinda looks like cream. I gave him my don't fuck with me on this point look and he went back and changed it. If I'd accompanied him we would have had the magnolia is NOT cream debate in public. Anyway it looks like I've embarked on project three - paint the house. Wish me luck... I can't help feeling that the minute I put a brush on a wall, the plaster will come crumbling down....