Today will be remembered, by me at least, as badmother's first brush with the plastic surgeon's knife. Not that you can brush with a knife because that would be silly and painful, very messy and undoubtedly against the law unless you do it to yourself. But then you would probably be sectioned so equally inadvisable. I digress.
A few weeks ago a mole that I've never been fond of started growing, and as I said to the plastic surgeon, was itchy and hurty. Having been inundated with medical advice not to ignore such symptoms I saw my GP. I made the mistake of making an appointment last thing on a Friday when the said doctor's mind was clearly concentrated on the golf course rather than the patient, so she took a quick peek at the offending blemish, said there was nothing wrong with it and if I wanted my itchy hurty mole removed I would have to pay privately. I didn't resent having to pay for the procedure as much as her insinuation that I was trying to get free plastic surgery on the NHS. I tried to put this into perspective and accept that I probably give more love and better advice to clients when I'm not it a tit-twist about having to be at the office. In fact I have been known to get a bit shouty, but don't tell the SRA.
It turned out that the mole removal procedure was covered by a medical insurance policy I have courtesy of spouse's firm since the plastic surgeon was prepared to attest that it was itchy and hurty and needed to be removed. I have to pay an excess of £150 but have no idea whether this will affect my no claims bonus. A visit to the dentist costs about this and I decided that if I had an itchy huty tooth I would probably cough up, so I booked an appointment for this afternoon. On receiving notification that my insurance company would settle the bill the surgeon offered to remove all three moles on my face. Bargain. I like a bargain and who could refuse a BOGToF deal - buy one get two free? It turned out to be cheaper and less painful than a trip to the dentist, and I wholeheartedly recommend anyone with an itchy and hurty mole to go under the knife.
I'm now saving up for the boob job. I intend to turn myself into the closest human approximation to "Trigger's broom". For those of you that didn't watch Only Fools and Horses when it seemed to be funny, Trigger claimed to have owned the same broom for thirty years during which time it only had seventeen new handles and fifteen new heads.
A few weeks ago a mole that I've never been fond of started growing, and as I said to the plastic surgeon, was itchy and hurty. Having been inundated with medical advice not to ignore such symptoms I saw my GP. I made the mistake of making an appointment last thing on a Friday when the said doctor's mind was clearly concentrated on the golf course rather than the patient, so she took a quick peek at the offending blemish, said there was nothing wrong with it and if I wanted my itchy hurty mole removed I would have to pay privately. I didn't resent having to pay for the procedure as much as her insinuation that I was trying to get free plastic surgery on the NHS. I tried to put this into perspective and accept that I probably give more love and better advice to clients when I'm not it a tit-twist about having to be at the office. In fact I have been known to get a bit shouty, but don't tell the SRA.
It turned out that the mole removal procedure was covered by a medical insurance policy I have courtesy of spouse's firm since the plastic surgeon was prepared to attest that it was itchy and hurty and needed to be removed. I have to pay an excess of £150 but have no idea whether this will affect my no claims bonus. A visit to the dentist costs about this and I decided that if I had an itchy huty tooth I would probably cough up, so I booked an appointment for this afternoon. On receiving notification that my insurance company would settle the bill the surgeon offered to remove all three moles on my face. Bargain. I like a bargain and who could refuse a BOGToF deal - buy one get two free? It turned out to be cheaper and less painful than a trip to the dentist, and I wholeheartedly recommend anyone with an itchy and hurty mole to go under the knife.
I'm now saving up for the boob job. I intend to turn myself into the closest human approximation to "Trigger's broom". For those of you that didn't watch Only Fools and Horses when it seemed to be funny, Trigger claimed to have owned the same broom for thirty years during which time it only had seventeen new handles and fifteen new heads.
I appreciate that some people find the concept of plastic surgery to be wrong. I blow a raspberry in your general direction. If you don't like something on TV then switch off, and if you don't like cosmetic surgery, shut the fuck up and don't have any.
